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[redforce]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

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SHANKS

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[hiyakai]

[ truthfully, kai has never been particularly fond of people.

they aren't trustworthy or pleasant, or even all that interesting (if he's going to be honest for a second). but if it's between dealing with some boring asshole or being alone, then that's no contest for him. he may not be particularly fond of people, but he absolutely hates being alone.

it's quite the juxtaposition, isn't it?

buuuuut even if he does dislike most everyone he meets, he has found a few in the commune who aren't too bad. take shanksy, for example. he isn't the most interesting fella around, but he makes for decent company when in a pinch. plus, he doesn't seem to mind it when he talks too much.

that's always a bonus. ]

Hey, my Anointed One. [ +1 kai falling in steps next to the too tall redhead; -1 quiet and peaceful walk. ] I thought you would be back to your nap by now.

[redforce]

( shanks, usually accompanied by his crew, is rarely ever alone anymore. even here, there are people he keeps close; people he rewards with his company, people whose company he revels in. to be alone — with no one to turn to, no one to reach for, no one to call — is, frankly, a fate worse than death. he wasn't even born alone, after all.

until roger's death, he'd never been alone. roger held him, raised him and rayleigh disciplined him and gaban took him into town and toki danced with him and momo played with him and buggy — buggy was always at his side.

until the crew disbanded, until rayleigh left the apprentices in loguetown, until buggy ran away. (until shanks let him go.) until everyone he loved was gone. and he was by himself. on his own, for the first time in his life. completely alone.

in the flock, they had all been one. until they hadn't. but even without that connection, that community, his own sense of presence, shanks feels at ease knowing where his family is, where his friends are. knowing that they're one phone call away. one road away. he doesn't need to be accompanied everywhere, though he wouldn't ever turn it down.

so when kai falls into step next to him, shanks doesn't even blink. he simply casts his glance sideways and laughs softly, shaking his head. )

Heading back there now, actually. ( joking, but also kind of not. after saber-scouting, he could use a nap. or at least a drink. maybe both. ) You're welcome to join me.

( by which he means both on the way and in napping. because he's never slept well alone, either. )

cw: mention of suicide

[hiyakai]

[ contrarily, kai's hatred for loneliness stems from it being too pervasive of a presence throughout his life. even when he was growing up in the coven, he was ostracized by both his family and the other members from an early onset, deemed an abomination to nature by his father, the coven leader. on the surface, the parkers just seemed like a normal happy family, yet behind the scenes, he was feared, hated and judged simply for not being able to tap into magic the 'normal' way.

then, may 10, 1994 happened and kai spent the next 18 years of his life alone in a prison world frozen in time with no one but himself for company.

it drove him insane. it led him to countless suicide attempts, all of which failed to take hold — not because he couldn't bring himself to follow through on them but because his prison wouldn't let him die. it was his punishment, his own hell, and it has seared its mark on him for perpetuity.

even after he had escaped, it wasn't long before he found himself in yet another prison world, betrayed by those who he was trying to help. from there, it just became an endless and vicious cycle of escape, imprisonment, escape and once again, imprisonment. in and out, in and out — it was like he was born to be alone.

and maybe he was. maybe that was his fate. a monster spat on by mother nature herself — the recipient of her cruelest joke.

so, he hates loneliness. he hates silence. he hates it more than he hates anything or anyone else in the world. because he can't kill it and he can't escape from it either.

but hey, at least he can disrupt and postpone its inevitable encroachment. right? ]

In a nap? [ a small chuckle. ] I think I'll just end up keeping you awake. [ he doesn't mind a good nap, when there's nothing better to do. but there is plenty to do here in the commune, isn't there? plenty of people to meet, to talk to, to annoy. ] I think I might just keep you awake. I'm pretty bored right now, so why don't we go to your place and you can invite me in for a drink?